Surrogate Messenger, Part 5: Triumph

kaheka                                                                     photo by bev

Standing True

Later in the morning I went to the barn expecting welcomed surprises after Kaheka had moved through his crisis during the night before. Instead I found him with his head in the air curling his lips back again. My heart sank, the icey fear came flooding in, along with the feeling of not knowing what to do. But something was different in me since Kaheka had broken the pattern of crises. What he had been doing for my friend had its releasing impact on me as well. I was able to easily let go of the fear and dwell on those special moments that had unfolded the night before. I stood quietly looking at the beauty around me.

The following day, he ate all his hay, drank water and pooped. My heart leapt…he was walking around and following me. It took a few days for Kaheka to fully recover. I’ve discovered that after we’ve turned the corner, there seems to be residual symptoms in the process of full recovery. I’m learning not to accept it as a relapse but to stand true to what I know in my heart has taken place. When I’m able to do that, most often the circumstances change in alignment with that.


Kaheka continued to improve. He seemed a little lethargic understandably but when I asked from time to time if he were doing ok, he would pantomime his answer to me by going to play in the water, or engaging with another horse. Thanks to Kaheka I was doing better at focusing on my spiritual connection as a way to deal with my fears and anxieties. I still had twinges of concern, and fears of reliving those tense moments we had been through, and I also started to be concerned about another horse. I stopped again and chose the homeplace. Immediately a magical moment carried me there.

Magical Moment

My attention was drawn to a barn swallow that was doing acrobatics in the air nearby, almost close enough to touch it seemed. When I looked more closely I saw that she was playing with a downy feather! This was something I had never witnessed. For a moment, I thought I was in a Walt Disney animation that had suddenly come to life right there in our barnyard. She carried the feather in her beak and then dropped it and allowed it to float gracefully in the wispy breeze as she flitted around it. Then she would pick it up, fly with it, drop it again, then swoop to catch it, over and over again as I watched. After I was fully distracted from my fears, she flew away leaving me with a feeling deep inside as soft as the feather she carried to her nest… her own homeplace.

Revisiting the Vision

Kaheka was definitely on the mend. As I was lying on the barn porch in the sun, seeing horses in the clouds, I felt all was well. I thought about what Kaheka had gone through a few nights before. He went through it physically alone at his request. I somehow knew that what he had released for my friend, he had also released for me. Relaxing there and  pondering these things, I became distracted with concern for one of my mares. This time it was Mariah. I felt the power in the moment of all things merging, the deliverance Kaheka had done, and the opportunity to apply it. As I stared into the sky above, I revisited the vision I had seen the second day that Kaheka showed discomfort. I had seen a vivid blue sky and colorful balloons floating upward. The memory washed over me anew. I let the vision of celebration encompass me… and in the background coming from a stall, I heard a plop plop plop as Kaheka pooped again after his evening back on feed after two days off, perfect timing to let me know he was doing well. I laughed, and a red tailed hawk flew over with his familiar cry. Kaheka had triumphed. Mariah was fine.

Changes that Last

It has been a year now. My friend whose crises Kaheka had intercepted and overcome has become a different person, a dramatic change. She and I have learned to look at a potential crisis with new eyes, seeing it no longer as a crisis, well, most of the time anyway. The frequency of them has subsided. I was also pleasantly surprised to hear my neighbor mention months after Kaheka broke the pattern, that crises no longer had a hold on her. Kaheka’s work is more far reaching than I had originally realized. Thank you, Kaheka, our Divine Surrogate Messenger. Your triumph has become ours.

Intro Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

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