Last night after dinner, the answer to my question, “What am I hoarding?” came from Tal like a bright flash. It sparked the familiar feeling of lightness and a deep resonance that an important truth had been spoken to my heart. He told me that I was hoarding what had been given to me to share, the horse stories. I wasn’t writing. I let distractions and procrastination stand in the way. By not sharing, I was stopping flow, things in my life were backing up and bumping into each other, forward movement had come to a dead halt.
With this revelation, I blinked at the brightness of another light that suddenly went on inside of me. I had two horses with sore feet! The second was not as severe, but he’s the one mentioned in the prior post who often goes strangely lame when my own movement bogs down. And then of course was Tal. These two horses were broadcasting the same message. How could I have been so deaf! Their difficulties in moving because of sore feet were reflecting my blockage in forward movement because I was hoarding the stories. What a wake up call! Flowing instead of hoarding brings the release. I knew what action I needed to take. My heart flooded with joy at the simultaneous admonition and affirmation that my intentions were on the right track but without action there was a traffic jam. I sat down to write.
When I went back out to the barn later to check on Tal, he was not in his stall where he had been immoble for two days. He had moved out on his own, and walked to the upper end of the paddock the greatest distance I’d seen him walk since the first day. This turn of events brought a knowing smile to my heart. Somehow I wasn’t surprised with the sudden improvement in Tal’s mobility just after I had broken free of my own hoarding stall. These dramatic changes have happened before, I can only wonder at why it takes me so long to get it. Apparently I wasn’t able to see the symbolism in two horses going lame because I needed to get to the underlying problem which Tal was reflecting with the hoarding of his body fat that was related to laminitis ultimately hindering his forward movement.
I don’t believe for a moment that I caused their sore feet. There are far too many mysteries to create a dogma around that. What I do know is that there is a mystical relationship and connectedness. Tal showed me our similarities. My healing and his were interlinked.
Today his feet are much better and he’s movin’ ahead, and so am I. We are no longer stall bound. No more hoarding for us.